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 Magnanimously Untitled Article Vol. 3 
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Post Magnanimously Untitled Article Vol. 3
[Note: Although dated, this article is provided for informational purposes. - Admin]

Magnanimously Untitled Article Vol. 3
by: Massimo Martinini

Good eve everyone, welcome to this blue untitled article. This week I’m going to talk about WrestleMania. My predictions, my opinions, all that candy and more! In addition I will also bring you the second round of the theme song tournament. Speaking of which there are a few things I would like to address quickly. As I knew would happen many of you suggested songs that I left out. Some of you respectfully, and others like jackasses. Let me justify my choices. Some of you didn’t like that I left out both of Orton’s themes. Reasons being I didn’t care for Burn in My Light, and Voices haven’t been around long enough. This Fire Burns, and Jeff’s new theme haven’t been around long enough either. Christian’s theme is good, but I didn’t feel it was in the same league as those, and yes really only my personal opinion matters as far as what makes the list. I do like to think I do a good job of keeping the public though. If I don’t I’m sure you’ll let me know. Anyway let’s kick this pig.


First off we has a 25 Diva Battle Royal to crown Miss WrestleMania. Just this Monday Santino tried to enter into in a hilarious one-armed match, that saw him lose, and to be honest that’s the most interested I’ve been in the match. I haven’t looked at everyone they’ve contacted to be in it because I don’t like spoilers, but as far as I can tell there are two possible outcomes with each having different women win. Outcome number one involves them making a joke of it, or just not taking it seriously. This would probably see Mae Young or someone like Debra, or another manager, win it just for a small shock value. Outcome two they take it serious. This outcome can generate a couple of situations in it’s self. Someone like Trish or Lita could win. Someone who has proven themselves as women competitors. Side note, I think they will both be in the Hall Of Fame for their work in the women’s division. Then they could have a current diva win. Beth is always a good choice, but girls like Melina, Maryse, Mickie, and Michelle McCool are equally likely candidates. My God there’s a lot of Ms in the women’s division. Don’t forget Maria. Anywho, another interesting thing would be to have Rosa Mendez, if she’s competing, to eliminate Beth. I don’t think she is though. Anywho over all this could either be a waste of time, or a decent match. Your winner…Trish Stratus.

Yeah, ya see how I did the old “Your winner…” format from our awesome collaboration articles. I miss those. Moving on.

Jericho vs. Piper/Snuka/Steamboat.

Until I hear otherwise I’m gonna assume this is a gauntlet style match. If not the diva battle royal then this will probably be the most lackluster match on the card. Simply because the Legends just can’t go like they used too. I think with the God given talent each of those guys have, and the ability of Jericho to help carry them this can be one hell of a match. I say it will start out Snuka and Jericho. They will go back and forth, then Snuka will try and hit the Superfly splash, and either miss or have it turned into a Code Breaker. Either way Snuka is gone. Next will be Steamboat. He will get a quick advantage with arm drags and chops, and all the stuff that made him a Hall Of Famer. Eventually though Jericho will do something underhanded and get him in the Walls and force him to tap. Finally Piper will come in. It will be a lot of brawling, but eventually Piper will lock in the Sleeper Hold. As Jericho is fading he will do something to knock out the referee. He escapes the sleeper and low blows Piper. He traps in the walls. As Jericho wrenches on the hold Piper taps, but the ref is still out of it. Suddenly…(Glass Breaks) Stone Cold makes his way to the ring. Jericho releases the hold on Piper, and meets Austin in the middle of the ring. They exchange words, and eventually Jericho pushes Austin, but instead of retaliating like he normally would he tells Jericho to turn around. Jericho is hit with a flying cross body from Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat. It’s followed up with a Superfly splash from Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka. As Jericho gets to his feet he is met with a Stone Cold Stunner, and before he hit’s the mat he bounces right back into a sleeper hold form The Hot Rod “Rowdy” Roddy Piper. Your winner…Team Legend.

P.S. If that doesn’t happen Flair will do something, and at some point Mickey Rourke will hit the Ram Jam. If you don’t know what that is go see the Wrestler.

Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy: eXtreme Rules

I’m really looking forward to this match. I know there were a lot of people that groaned when they heard about Hardy v. Hardy, and groaned again when they heard it was Extreme Rules. But remember these aren’t just some guys they’re throwing in a hardcore match. This is the Hardy’s. We are gonna see some vicious, brutal, violent, acrobatic, mind blowing stuff in this match. We’ll see Hardy classics like Jeff’s leapfrog leap frog leg drop with the ladder. We’ll the chair assisted Poetry in Motion. I just don’t know how Matt’s gonna get a chair to run off his back. All in all this is gonna be pretty cool, we’ve seen these two feud before, but they were different people then, so don’t start in with the “We’ve seen it” crap. The story has progressed wonderfully. Matt admitted to doing all those things to Jeff. The only continuity error there is why was he standing up for Jeff the whole time? We all heard it was because Christian was supposed to the culprit, but on T.V. we can chalk it up to Matt being a convincing actor. I’m just glad they didn’t have him admit to burning Jeff’s house. I know they did, and edited it out, but that would have just ruined the whole story. You know what I mean when WWE doesn’t know where to quit with a story? Oh right this part. Your Winner…Matt Hardy. Jeff came out on top in nearly every match in their previous feud. Time for Matt to get his main event push. He’ll get that on SmackDown while Jeff gets drafted to Raw.

Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker

Right here, my candidate for match of the year. I think these two are still that good. At forty-three years of age Shawn Michaels not only holds the record for most matches of the year, but the first and second place record for most consecutive matches of the year. He previously had 4 straight, and now has five straight. This is gonna be six I just know it. And who better to help seal the deal with then The Deadman. I was sick of hearing people outright pronounce this was gonna happen 10 minutes after WrestleMania 24 was over, but I have to admit I was looking forward to it too. The thing that’s scary about this match is that there is actually someone who is a threat to Undertaker’s streak. The last guy was Batista, and I think we all still felt he was gonna win that one. Just look at everyone The Undertaker has gone through. Very few ever posed a real threat. And even if they did it didn’t matter. People didn’t even start paying attention to “The Streak” until I think it was right before he beat Orton back in ‘05. Before that it was just a little fun fact that he had never lost at ‘Mania. Now it is a thing of legend though. Can you imagine what it’s gonna be like when we see the simultaneous Deadman Raise Up, and Shawn Michael’s Kip-Up. I’ve got Goosebumps. So we’ve got two of the very best, ever, who are still better than most people anywhere right now. They are wrestling at the Silver anniversary of WrestleMania, the Grandest Stage of them All, this feud has had excellent promo work, and we have someone who’s a threat to the streak, and the man with the streak. Tell me how all of this thrown in the oven doesn’t make a Match of the Year cake. Your winner…The Undertaker.

Ya know what? I feel like splitting this into a two parter. So next you will hear my predictions on the rest of the WrestleMania matches. For now though we move on to the theme song tournament.

Hello everyone. Welcome back to the theme songs tournament, which as of now is officially called the Jim Johnston Cup. Let’s look at the results shall we? First off Edge’s Metalingus defeated Slow Chemical 17-5 knocking the Big Red Machine out of the running. In the closest match up Triple H won. Of course he was going to since he was going up against DX, which includes himself. The official tally was Trips 12, and DX 10. The Boss beat out a New World Order 16-6. Shawn Michaels once again played Sweet Chin Music for The Nature Boy beating him 18-4. Stone Cold stunned Shane O’ Mac 13-9. Rock laid the Smackdown on Goldberg 18-4. The Undertaker made Cena rest in peace 19-8. And finally Hogan hit the New Age Outlaws with a Leg Drop. Hulkamania runs wild 16-6. So here are the new match ups.

Triple H (The Game) vs. Edge (Metalingus)

Mr. McMahon (Chairman of the Board) vs. Shawn Michaels (Sexy Boy)

Stone Cold Steve Austin (I Won’t Do What You Tell Me) vs. The Rock (Know Your Role)

I can’t let the ironic, awesome, coincidencedentalness of the above match go unmentioned.

Undertaker (Rest In Peace) vs. Hulk Hogan (Real American)

Well that’s it for now. The second part will be posted this weekend along with the REM World Title match I’ve been promising in my other article. I’m skipping the Hall Of Fame this week. I don’t want to run out of candidates too fast, and I’m running low on people I have a lot of info of right off the top of my head. Do you know how frustrating it is to right a career description for someone and having to check wikipedia after every sentence? Anyway I just got the new WWE encyclopedia that basically has everything written for me so I’ll be using that as a major asset in future HOF inductions. Stay tuned to my other article for a heart-stopping match that “Should’ve been, but never was.” Until next time gents. Peace, Love, and Candy.

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Sat Feb 26, 2011 11:18 am
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